Gong! Gong!


Being a little kid is amazing. When my sister and I were little, we would pretend to be gophers. I don't know if you know this, but in those days, gophers talked by making a noise something like this, "gong." Therefore, gopher conversations when along these lines:

"Gong gong..."
"Gong gong gong, gong."
"GONG! GONG!"

Also, contrary to popular belief, gophers did not live in small tunnels of dirt, but underneath a twin-sized bed on a wood floor. The way they moved was also interesting. Instead of crawling or running, as you would assume a gopher to do, these gophers would slither around on their backs, and pull themselves from one side of their homes to another using the exposed metal of the underside of the boxspring. Thus, the translation of the previous conversation would have went something like this:

"I'm hungry, gopher sister..."
"Well, then slide over to the kitchen and make yourself some food, dummy"
"OH NO! WE'RE GETTING ATTACKED"

This would be accompanyed by a great deal of slithering and gopher screaming, and repeated many, many times. Who knows what exactly was attacking those strange little gophers. I mean, that would be some weird sort of gopher eater. I'd put my money on it being a little brother though. No matter how normal you were as a kid, nothing could strike fear into the heart like a sibling intruder. I mean, even Joseph Campbell has that listed as one of his mythic archetypes*---"The Sibling Intruder"
Honestly, I have a lot of great memories of being a kid, but this is one that my sister and I remember, shake our heads, and say, "Why was that fun?"

But it was, oh, it was.

*This is a lie.