Homeless Season

Spring brings many things to the Twin Cities, new growth, warm weather, and the re-emergence of the homeless population. Now don't get me wrong, the homeless are around all winter (somehow) but when Spring comes, there's just something in the air.

My work is located in a pretty seedy area near a couple of shelters. So far this Spring we've had to clear out a rat's nest of a homeless stash under the bush on our front lawn. Every day it would get cleaned out, and every morning there would be a new stash of garbage and junk under the bush. Until the day that a case of beer got thrown out, that is. Somehow the message got across after that, and there havn't been any more garbage sculptures out front.

Because our building is on the main walking route on the way to the shelters, we often have people come in the front door. It's always interesting to see what happens next.

Today, for example:

We hear the door open, and then nothing. My office manager (OM) has a direct view to the door, and he looks over and says, "Can I help you?"

A homeless man sans teeth comes over to our section of the the office and replies, "Actually, I was hoping you could help me." As pleasant as can be. "I was wondering if I could wash your two front windows out here."

OM: "I'm sorry, we don't really need them cleaned right now."

Homeless: with a air of outraged disbelief, "Hey man, I'm just trying to earn a dollar so I can eat."

OM: "I'm sorry, I really can't help you."

Homeless: scornfully, "What, so you're telling me you're not the American type then, huh?"

OM: understandably, has no actual reply to this

Homeless: looks around office for sense of camaraderie at his plight against this anti-American type--I am suddenly busy at my desk. Do not make eye contact, do not make eye contact.

Homeless: walks out, thoroughly disgusted with our un-American attitude.