Slug Bugs

So, this one time about two years ago, I went to visit my friend Corrie and her husband Sam at their apartment. Before they moved away I used to go over there a lot--no specific plans or anything, just hanging out. Corrie was working on a design for an Interior Decorating job she was trying to get, so the coffee table and most of the living room was covered in fabric samples, bits of paper, drawings etc. We were just chatting, catching up--you know, girl talk stuff. Then I got a phone call (from a boy who I would soon start dating). Corrie was sitting on the couch working on her project, and I was sitting on the floor next to the coffee table with my back against couch. Now, you may or may not already know this about me, dear readers, but I'm a very fidgety person. When I'm having a conversation, and especially if I am in any way nervous or excited, I cannot sit still. I play with my rings, or I tear up a napkin into little bits, or I mess around with whatever is in front of me.

Imagine this: I'm sitting there on the phone and I'm fidgeting. I'm messing about with all the little bits of fabric and things that Corrie has all over the place (remember that I'm not paying attention to what my hands are doing at all because I'm focused on this conversation with this boy). So I pick up a little bit of something, and--wait, something isn't right--I stop focusing on my conversation and look at what I'm holding. It's a slug. A Slug. A SLUG!

At this point I freak out.

"OhmygodIjustpickedupaslug." I'm hysterical. I'm practically rolling around on the floor shrieking --yes, shrieking--I! Just! Picked!Up! A! Slug!!!! !!!!! A SLUG!!!!

Corrie is laughing so hard that she's crying, Sam comes in from the other room to find out what's going on, and starts laughing too. The boy who I was talking to is laughing (and wondering what the hell is going on). I continue being hysterical.

I'm hysterical not because I'm scared of slugs. I'm not. They're gross, but I'm not phobic or anything. If I were at the zoo or something and there was a petting slug, I'd probably touch it. I'm more hysterical about the absurdity of the moment; I'm in someone's living room talking on the phone, and the next minute I'm holding a slug. This is not normal. This does not happen to people. You don't suddenly look down to see that you're holding a slug--except that I did. It took me quite a while to regain my composure.

I guess the moral of the story is "pay attention to what you're doing--you never know when you could be holding a slug."