Don't mess with Allenville

Today I will share with you, my dear readers, one of my very bestest stories of youthful mischief and fun. This is one of the rare times in life when you feel like you're living out a scene in a movie--you couldn't have scripted it better. So sit back, dear readers, and enjoy.

As some of you may already know, I grew up in a tiny community in the country. Back in the railroad days my town was actually a town. Now it's just a grouping of houses in the middle of the country. My house is actually the old general store--but I digress.

There were about 12-15 kids in our neighborhood, and we did all the classic kid stuff like playing kickball and softball, riding bikes, and getting decked out in black for our nightly games of kick-the-can. Once I got into highschool, the group sort of changed and it became two semi-peaceful factions--"the guys" and "the girls." Of course, there were many pranks between these two groups, and I liked to consider myself an independent contractor in the prank business.

On this memorable occasion, my sister Emily and our friend Heidi came to me for help. The guys had pulled some lame trick on them, and they wanted to retaliate in a way that would prove without a doubt that they were the superior pranksters. So we came up with this plan:

I would send a message to the boys saying that I was mad at Em and Heidi, so I wanted to help them (the boys) to prank the girls. I told them that Em and Heidi would be sleeping out in Heidi's tree house on Saturday night, but that they were going to bed early because they were going shopping with Heidi's mom in the morning. So if they planned to prank them, sometime between midnight and one would be perfect.

Thus, the trap was laid.

By Saturday night, we were ready and waiting. Leah (another friend) and I were stationed in the treehouse. Em and Heidi were staked out in our van, which they had pushed out of the driveway to the front of the house. Aside: the boys hangout was about three blocks from Heidi's house, and our house was about halfway between them. We had walkie-talkies so that the other girls could warn us when the boys were coming (there was also camouflaged involved, FYI). We were well-equipped with weaponry. We had prepared, at my suggestion, two five-gallon buckets full of cold water-balloons. But here's where the genius comes in. We had also gotten a hold of some Butterscotch and Tapioca pudding, mixed that up, and planned to dip the balloons in pudding before launching them.

12:15: Right on schedule Em and Heidi signal to us that the boys are coming. We saw the guys riding their bikes around 'casually' for a few minutes before they left. We knew that they were just seeing if the coast was clear, so with rising anticipation, we continued to wait. About ten minutes later we received another signal from the van, and we knew it was time. Before long we could see figures stealthily approaching from the apple orchard behind Heidi's house. When they got to the tree-house, they started toilet-papering it. We let them get into it a little, and then we attacked. Words cannot express that scene. It was utter chaos as the guys tried to grasp what was happening (and what they were being slimed with). They ran around screaming like girls until a cease-fire was declared. Leah and I descended from our arboreal battle station, Em and Heidi showed up, and we all began reliving the successes(us) and failures (them) of the night.

But what were Emily and Heidi doing all that time? Did they really miss out on all the fun? Oh no, dear reader, they certainly did not. As soon as the guys passed the van the second time, those girls high-tailed it to the boys hang-out armed with toilet-paper, shaving cream, and "roadkill."* They did their work, left their calling card, and were back with us before the boys had a chance to suspect that there was something more in store for them besides pudding-covered water-balloons.

I'd say that we gave the guys a little something to think about before they pranked the girls again.

The End

*does not mean actual roadkill. This is something we made up. I should probably tell the roadkill story here sometime soon. So be patient, and all will be revealed.