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Monday, February 06, 2006

Snakes on a Plane



No, this is not a bad joke. It's not even a good joke. It's not a joke at all.
It's. . . "Snakes on a Plane."

In case you have yet to hear of this forthcoming cinematic treat, I will take this opportunity to fill you in.

Just remember, this is not a joke.

Release Date: August 18, 2006
Studio: New Line Cinema
Director: David Ellis
Screenwriter: John Heffernan, David Loucka
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Nathan Phillips, Benjamin McKenzie
Genre: Action, Thriller
Plot Summary: Samuel L. Jackson stars in the intense action feature "Snakes on a Plane" from director David Ellis ("Final Destination 2," "Cellular"). Jackson plays an FBI agent who is escorting a witness on a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles when an assassin releases hundreds of deadly snakes on a commercial airplane in order to eliminate the witness. The FBI agent, along with a rookie pilot, frightened crew and passengers must then band together in a desperate attempt to survive.
Trailer: Coming Soon!

(holy crap, are you excited or what?)

I don't even have the words to mock this premise. Honestly, what kind of lame assassin uses a massive amount of snakes 'in hopes' of killing someone? Obviously this person is an assassin-school drop out, and definitely doesn't deserve to have a movie made about his or her pathetic assassination skills.
People (like me) are so excited for this lame movie, that Wikipedia has an entry for it showing how this movie has been adopted into popular slang:

"Soon after Josh Friedman's blog entry, the title became a catch-phrase for common idioms such as 'whattya gonna do?' and 'shit happens', as well as for expressing mocking fear over a mild situation."

So far, "Snakes on a Plane" has already enriched my life by providing much hilarity in 2006. On New Year's Day, after a delicious brunch my friends and I somehow got on the topic of this film and spent a lazy afternoon coming up with similar plots.
"Eels on a Submarine"
"Jellyfish on a Helicopter"
"Earthworms on a Greyhound"

This movie is going to be a blockbuster because of people like us. Oh, we're so ironic.

posted by the chocolate milk girl @ Monday, February 06, 2006  

3 Comments:

  • At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Prediction: After hollywood execs see the box office sales results, six similar productions with absurd titles/concepts/plots etc will immediately be funded. The screenwriters and producers will pull titles from random blogs around the net. All of them will fail because the directors:
    a) suck;
    b) don't understand what they're trying to do;
    c) have mind-numbingly bad scripts to work from.

    Wait, why didn't we have napoleon dynamite imitations? Maybe Hollywood actually does know what they're doing...
    nah. no chance.

     

  • At 2:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    lol. thanks, bella, for making me laugh. My title: "Shellfish on a Space Shuttle" -- say that 5 times fast (really not hard) -- shrug.

     

  • At 10:36 AM, Blogger the chocolate milk girl said…

    Yeah, that's a good one. It could be a biological warfare movie, because we all know what happens if you eat bad shellfish.

     

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