Jumping Ship

I might be jumping the gun posting this since I haven't given notice yet, but I GOT A NEW JOB!!! Hooray! No more American Awesome Products! I beat out 101 people to get what is the current equivalent of my dream job. I'm proud of myself and so happy I could burst.

That being said, for your mocking pleasure I give you the link to my current employer's website. It's a graphic design nightmare.

www.aopmn.com

Note: I wrote this in June but never published it. Now I don't care because I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE!!!! That is a hundred gallons of Chocolate Milk cool.

Hey there, little lady.

Do I have a sign on my forehead reading, "Little Lady?" As in a, "Hey there little lady, make me some dinner since you've been lounging around the house all day while I put in a hard day's work at the office" sort of thing.

Because seriously, the owner of the company I work for asked me if I could sew a button onto a pair of pants for him. Truth! I was literally speechless. I mean, he is of an older generation. A generation where that's what a woman's role was. However, I am not of that generation, and I'm not his seamstress! I'm not kidding here, I was speechless. I sort of stammered that, yes, I know how to sew, but... By the time I got to the "but" he had already walked away. The worst part is that this place is so ridiculous that people just let him get away with that stuff. I wish I could remember all the questions he asked me at my interview that I now know are illegal to ask. I know he asked if I exercise, have a car, and if I'm German. Illegal! All of them!

So then, when I was leaving for the day, he said he'd bring the pants in next week, and motions me over to his desk where he has a knit stocking cap with a post-it on it. The post-it reads, "Cut three inches." He then asks if I can do that too. I tell him no, that's a knit fabric and it would unravel if you cut it. I mean, it could be done, but would definitely require a machine. I do sew, but I barely have time to do my own projects! Let alone free projects for the cranky old man who owns the company where I work!

Ok, so after I tell him it would unravel, he says, "Aren't there machines that can do that? Or can't you just sew it first and then cut under the stitching?" I was more speechless...and just kind of shook my head. I mean, he's right, but that's a complicated bit of sewing, because if you just sew it normally it will rip out; the point of a knit fabric is that it will stretch, and stretching will rip the seam unless you use a special stretch stitch.

I sent the following text message to some of my friends who know my disdain for this place of employment:

The owner of the company asked me if I could sew a button back onto a pair of his pants. True story. I need a new job.

I received the following replies:

Amanda: nice
Elasah: ha!
Lindsey: gurrrross

Angela (in a phone call): tears of laughter, and deep sympathy.

What is a girl to do?